Hello Reader,

When I started writing my Good Pictures Bad Pictures books, I knew pornography could become addictive. But I didn’t fully understand how much trauma it causes.

Today I want to share why our kids need more than a warning about addiction. They need to understand the true cost of pornography. 💔

An 8-year-old’s story

Years ago, an 8-year-old girl had “the sex talk” right before her birthday. Soon after, her parents gave her an internet-connected device—unaware of what she could access.

Curious, she typed “S-E-X” into the search bar.

What did she find?

Pornography.

It pulled her in. She began watching every day after school in the privacy of her bedroom.

Soon, her mom noticed a heartbreaking change. Her once happy, social daughter became withdrawn, distant, and depressed.

No one knew what had happened—until her mom found the horrific pornography her little girl had been watching for months.

Pornography had absolutely traumatized her. Thankfully, her habit was discovered and she received the care needed to begin healing.

A 17-year-old girl’s betrayal trauma

Now consider a 17-year-old girl who discovered her boyfriend had been using pornography since he was ten. His parents dismissed it as normal—“boys will be boys.”

But she felt crushed.

Wasn’t she enough? Didn’t he love her soul—who she was inside? Or was she just an object?

She later wrote a song called “Cardboard Butterfly,” which you can listen to on Instagram.

We’ve heard from other girls and families who have experienced that same deep pain and betrayal.

The trauma is real.

➡️ Check out this article to learn more about a fascinating butterfly experiment that illustrates the damaging effects of viewing porn.

✅ The good news is that more people are finally naming what Freya India calls the “mass trauma of porn.” In a recent After Babel piece, she argues that online violent pornography is shaping young people’s first ideas about sex, love, bodies, and relationships—often through addictive, degrading content.

And perhaps the worst part? Porn gaslights kids into believing that what is dehumanizing and harmful is NORMAL.

Thankfully, we can do better for our kids. 💪

We can talk with our daughters and sons about the true cost of porn—not just its addictive nature, but its power to harm mental health, relationships, and a child’s ability to love and trust.

You can arm your kids with the truth about healthy sexual intimacy before porn poisons their minds.

➡️ For more help on talking to kids about sex, see our “Teach Healthy Sexuality” articles.

With your guidance, you can help your children avoid much of the pain and trauma millions of their peers are experiencing.

I encourage you to start small, start now, and keep talking!

Warmly,

Kristen

P.S. My new Good Pictures Bad Pictures Guide for Girls is a perfect way to begin a comfortable conversation with daughters ages 7 to 12. If you have girls in your life—get it, read it, tell everyone you know about it!

What I’ve been up to

• 📚 I’m beginning another book project (can someone just tell me to take a break???). This is the one I promised I’d never write–a book for grown-ups! It will contain all of my best advice and original research–some that only attendees of my speaking events and conference presentations have heard. I’ll keep you posted!
• 🤖 I’m developing an AI presentation for a local speaking event: “AI–The Good, the Bad, and the Inspired Use.”
• 🪴 I used AI to help me plan my vegetable garden! Now I’ve just gotta get it planted–I’m late this year!

The Good Pictures Bad Pictures books are excellent resources for helping parents start age-appropriate conversations with their children about pornography. Having these important discussions early can help protect children from confusion, shame, and future trauma while building trust and open communication.