Hello Reader,

Summer's the season to get in more one-on-one chats with your kids. Today's Sips & Tips will help your child feel even safer coming to you with the tough stuff.

🍹 SIP: Kids need safe spaces to open up about sensitive topics with their parents or caregivers. That’s why we’re creating a No Trouble Bubble! 🫧 This is a pretend bubble where it’s safe for your kid to say (or confess) anything without fearing an angry or freak out response from you.

TLDR–My first No Trouble Bubble 🫧

When I was about 6 years old, I walked a few houses down to my neighbor’s house to see if my friends wanted to play. The door was slightly open, but no one answered when I rang the doorbell. So I went inside, searching, and soon realized that no one was home. As I left through the front door, I saw the family pull up into the driveway. My friend jumped out and yelled at me, “What are you doing in our house?!” I was so scared and ashamed! I ran home and hid, feeling miserable.

Later that evening, my 12-year-old sister noticed and asked what was wrong. Because I felt safe with her, I told her everything. My sister hugged me and assured me that I wasn’t going to be in trouble and that she could understand why I had gone inside. No lecture, only love! A huge load of worry melted away from my shoulders and my heart. What a transformation! I had just experienced my first No Trouble Bubble! 🫧

✅ TIP: The No Trouble Bubble is a safe space where a child can tell you anything they’re worried about and they won’t “get into trouble.” (From a failed math test to a mistake on the internet to feelings of depression or suicide.) Meaning, you won’t get angry or have a huge emotional response. You only give them love and assurance in the No Trouble Bubble. Later you can talk about consequences.

📝 The No Trouble Bubble script

KID: “Hey Mom, Dad, can we talk in the No Trouble Bubble?” 🫧

YOU: “Sure!” You now have about 30 seconds to collect yourself and breathe.

KID: “I need to tell you about…”

YOU: Listen.

These are the only responses allowed in the No Trouble Bubble:

YOU: “I love you.”

YOU: Give your child an 8 second hug.

YOU: “What can I do to support you in becoming the best version of yourself?” Of course you can rephrase this if it doesn’t feel authentic to you.

YOU: Continue to listen and assure your child of your love, but that’s all you can do in the No Trouble Bubble. 🫧​
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​✅ Key Tip: Once you’ve had time to calm down and process what you’ve been told, only then can you discuss appropriate consequences with your child. You may need to wait a few hours or until the next day.

I learned about the No Trouble Bubble from Smith Alley, a teen in recovery from pornography and all of the harms it caused him. Read more about his journey in this eye-opening and candid interview I did with him:

Read: Teens, Porn and Mental Health: Smith Alley’s Pathway to Recovery​

Hit Reply and let me know if the No Trouble Bubble helps you create safe spaces for sensitive convos with your kid!

Please share the No Trouble Bubble by forwarding this email to your friends and family members. 🫧

Warmly,

Kristen

P.S. Help me name my new book for Girls! 💖 I’ll be sending out a special email poll on Thursday to get your best advice on a title–please look for it and vote. I’m horrible at naming books without help from my people! Thank you!

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