Hello Reader,

No parent wants their kid to develop bad habits or an addiction of any kind--and yet it happens.

That's why understanding how a behavior can escalate from a habit to compulsive use to an addiction is one of the most protective things you can do for your child. (Check out our easy infographic below.)

Let’s explore the difference between these three: habit, compulsion and addiction.

➡️ A habit is a learned, repeated behavior that becomes automatic.

For example, a child stumbles onto explicit content, feels a jolt of curiosity, and the brain stores that experience as “interesting” or “rewarding.” If the child returns to it, the brain starts linking cues—being alone, bedtime, boredom, a digital device—with that behavior. Habits can form quickly because the brain is built to remember rewards.

➡️ Compulsive use is different–it’s driven less by enjoyment and more by relief.

When kids feel anxious, lonely, bored, or stressed, they may return to pornography not because they truly want to—but because it temporarily numbs uncomfortable feelings. That short-term relief becomes a powerful reinforcer: “This makes the bad feeling go away.”

➡️ An addiction is when use becomes compulsive despite harm.

Addiction brings impaired control (can’t quit without relapse), intense cravings, and continued use even when it causes negative consequences. People who develop addictions continue to use despite conflicts with their beliefs or values, ruined relationships, failure in school, lost sleep, or a decline in mental health. Many people also develop tolerance (needing more novelty or intensity) and withdrawal-like symptoms (irritability, agitation, depression) when they try to quit.

(🧠 Hey, you nerds who want a little brain science behind porn addiction, read How Porn Use Becomes an Addiction (Simplified!).)

Pornography is especially risky because it can act like a super-stimulus—an artificially intense, highly novel reward that can strongly condition the brain’s motivation and reward circuits. (🦋 This story about fake butterflies is a great way to explain it to kids!)

And unlike alcohol or drugs, porn is often free, anonymous, and one click away—even for children.

This is why proactive parenting is crucial. Teaching kids to guard their brains from an addictive stimulus isn’t fear mongering—it’s protection.

If you’d like help putting this into kid-friendly language, my read-aloud book Good Pictures Bad Pictures: Porn-proofing Today’s Young Kids explains—without shame or explicit details—how pornography can “trick” our two brains into a harmful pattern.

It also gives children a simple “CAN DO Plan” for when they see something they shouldn’t (because sooner or later, most will).

You don’t have to have the perfect words. You just need a little courage to start.

Warmly,
​
Kristen

P.S. You’re invited! Smartphone Free Childhood has invited me to be a guest presenter on a FREE webinar, March 5th. And I’m inviting you to register and join us! I love the work this organization is doing!

Do you remember their widely shared PSA?

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P.P.S. Did you see our viral post? We’re seeing huge momentum on our social channels–check out this post with 851k views! Stay informed and connected and follow us on Instagram and Facebook.

Empower your kids to develop healthy media habits with Good Pictures Bad Pictures—simple, age-appropriate stories that make starting the conversation easy.